Sex Education only: What are the benefits?

Sex education seems to be more relevant to teens this day in age.  Connotations of sex are EVERYWHERE!! In cartoons, billboards, deodorant commercials, countless condom and birth control commercials, radio advertisements, prizes in Cracker Jack boxes.  The list goes on.  Teens and children get curious about sex and want to explore.  With all of the influences in the media and even family members, such as older sister or brother or cousins that display sexual behavior, naturally, there is curiosity.  Sex education teaches preventative measures just in case one chooses to engage in sexual behavior.  It educated them on the risks of having sex in addition to the benefits of being abstinent.

Abstinence only: What are the benefits?

Abstinence only was the only form of sex education allowed in schools under the George W. Bush Administration.  As the president, he would only fund abstinence only education.  The schools that wanted to teach the comprehensive topic had to provide their own funding.  Abstinence only education assures teens that they will not get pregnant, contract STIs or become emotional turmoil from a sexual relationship.  Below is a list from http://www.avert.org/abstinence.htm of other reasons that make abstinence only beneficial.

·         Abstinence from sexual activity outside marriage is the expected standard for all school age children

·         Abstinence from sexual activity is the only certain way to avoid out of wedlock pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, and other associated health problems

·         A mutually faithful, monogamous relationship in the context of marriage is the expected standard of sexual activity

·         Sexual activity outside the context of marriage is likely to have harmful psychological and physical effects

·         Bearing children out of wedlock is likely to have harmful consequences for the child, the child’s parents, and society

·         How to reject sexual advances and that alcohol and drug use increases vulnerability to sexual advances

·         The importance of attaining self sufficiency before engaging in sexual activity

Should this be a requirement?

I think Sex Ed should be required of all students, no matter what there age is. I think as soon as a child can walk they need to be taught the difference between "good touch" and "bad touch" because everything they see is sexual and they need to know what is appropriate. I was taught sex education in elementary school, starting around the third grade and I think that it is great that it was a requirement because it informed us instead of leaving us curious. With sex being literally EVERYWHERE, even in commercials during breaks of SpongeBob SquarePants on Nickelodeon, sex ed needs to be required.

Personal Standards

A common theme in sex education that is overlooked is a set of personal standards or values that a person holds them self to.  I think some teens are attracted to people for the wrong reasons.  I don't believe mine are 100% correct and they don't apply to everyone, but they are things I have learned over the years.

More than anything, a person’s demeanor attracts me to them. I like a young man that presents himself as confident, intelligent and independent. I personally don’t expect a person to bring more to the table than me. So be it materialistic or a personality trait, have it or match it and there will be automatic attraction.

When I had a boyfriend, I had a lot less time for my friends and homework and stuff that really matter. Glad that’s over.

The relationship did not affect my relationship with my parents. He understood that my relationship with my parents was far more important.

Looking back, I honestly can’t say I would have done anything differently. Things happened the way they did for a reason.

Teens and Revenge Sex

Teenagers have misconceptions about a lot of different things, especially sex since there is a lack of sex education in the school systems.  One of the problems that teens face, the majority of which are girls, is revenge sex.  The last blog briefly discussed revenge sex in the world of adults.  As we all know, teenagers live on a completely different planet and have a totally different point of view. So why do teens have revenge sex?  In my opinion, it is simply because they don't know any better.  There is not class that can teach you how to control your feelings; I believe that begins at home.  But you can learn to control your emotions.  Girls run to other guys and vice versa after a relationship to seek revenge because they are lacking a sense of being wanted and show the other person they they really "don't care".  Lots of teens suffer through revenge sex and its consequences because they believe they need someone to validate their existence.

Do I think sex ed could fix this? Of course!

Revenge Sex

Revenge sex is so popular because sex in general is popular. If a person is betrayed they use that as an excuse to have sex. People will use anything to have sex.

Revenge sex is not very innocent at all. Revenge sex is a hasty decision to make and could end worse than intended, as the article stated. Revenge sex would not provide a permanent feeling of revenge and may turn into regret.

I think the healthiest decision to make is to leave the situation altogether. If a person wants to cheat, they will whether you know or not. Stressing over situations or having sex with others as revenge does not make it better. It is healthier to deal with the situation on your own.

Can videos promote safe sex?

Below is a link to several different videos that discuss sex.  I think all of the videos would help to promote safe sex in one way or another. Teenagers no longer want to be teenagers so the facts can no longer be sugar coated.

However, I do not think the videos would be a good supplement for parents to use at home. I think it would make an awkward situation. "Hey, lets watch this video about sex! :)" is not exactly comforting to a teen. Even it it was watched in the home it may raise new questions that the teen may be afraid to ask or the parent is uncomfortable with answering.

  http://www.cdc.gov/STD/Be-Smart-Be-Well/default.htm#

"Gotta be safe out here...lol"

Green benches line the walls of the Applebees waiting area.  Windows cover by cream colored blinds are dimly lit by flickering Busch Light signs.  Top 40 music plays from the speakers over our head, some song we didn’t recognize.  We smell French fries and cheeseburgers and see waitresses scurrying from left and right with full drink trays, in a hurry to server all of their customers.  Crayons sit on the empty host stand, inviting to a college student that has been cooped up in their dorm room due to the snow.  Maryville, Missouri makes crayons interesting.  Seems innocent enough, right? Wrong.  Not when my friends and I are in town.  Melancholy atmospheres don’t suit us well, especially when it’s one of our birthdays.  Here we are, freshmen at Northwest Missouri State University, celebrating a birthday and reminiscing on the fact that we have almost made it through our first year of college.  Keyaira, the birthday girl, and I dressed similarly for the occasion.  We both wore black leather motorcycle jackets along with jeans and knee high boots.  We were hardly dressed for the weather.

The snow was deadly.  Piles of white fluff passed our ankles and almost kept Satty, Keyaira’s 1994 Saturn from making the trek from campus to Applebee’s on that frigid winter evening.  Tire marks in the deep snow let us know that the trip was indeed possible.  We saw tracks leaving, but none coming back.  Nonetheless, the cabin fever was getting to us and we had to leave campus by any means necessary.

After sitting in the waiting area of the restaurant for over an hour, we finally made our way to the center of the restaurant to a table large enough to seat twenty people.  The conversation inevitably turned to sex.  It made Keyaira and I reminisce on our first weekend on the Northwest Missouri State University campus.  After we were all settled in to our dorm rooms, we took what we called a field trip around campus to visit one another’s dorm rooms.  Keyaira lived on the fifth floor of Millikan Hall with Mi-Keya.  To say the very least, Mi-Keya was a character.  While showing off her side of the room, a condom fell from under her purple and white plaid pillow.  It took us all by surprise for a bit, but then we realized we were all in college and she was really taking a safety precaution.  That wintery evening at dinner, Mi-Keya’s random condom came up in conversation.  For whatever reason, she was carrying it around with her that day.  She says it was a reminder to stay safe, because being in college doesn’t make us invincible.  The birthday dinner was a bit more than a dinner.  It was a short lesson in sex education.  The conversation was very mature, with the exception of the comical reference to what came to be known as Mi-Keya’s “pet condom.”

After several hours of eating wings and French fries, our evening finally came to an end.  We shared several laughs.  It was a night to remember.  As we climbed back into Keyaira’s Saturn in an attempt to escape the cold, we discussed how Mi-Keya’s condom had followed us over the course of the year.  It seems a bit unorthodox to have a “pet condom”, but it serves as a gentle reminder of a collegiate version of sex education.

Matt Johnson, Human Sexuality Professor

Sex education seems like it is always a difficult topic for Americans to talk about.  Whether it is a simple as the “sex talk” between parents and children, course offered in secondary schools and even in college, it is usually pushed under the rug to be dealt with at another time.  Recently, President Obama changed to protocol of former President Bush and lifted the “abstinence only” ban from sex education in secondary schools.  In post-secondary schools such as Northwest, sex education courses are offered on campus.  Mr. Matthew Johnson teaches Human Sexuality, a class that goes in depth about sex education, including knowledge of both male and female reproductive organs, pregnancy and all other elements included with sex.

In college, the course is very open.  Most college students are between 18 and 24 years of age and have been seasoned with the sex talk in one way or another.  While in class, Mr. Johnson has no concrete boundaries concerning the direction of the conversation.  He believes that at our ages, we should be mature enough to discuss sex.  In each Human Sexuality class, he makes the students chant “penis and vagina,” hoping to familiarize them with the terms and make it even easier to discuss sex.  Classes are less explicit, however, if one of his children are present.  His daughter attended class with him and he says he noticeably changed his vocabulary.  His daughter is 3-years-old.  Children, toddlers especially,  repeat everything they hear even if they have no idea what it means.  He says it would be disturbing to find his 3-year-old chanting “penis and vagina,” knowing that she had no idea what she was saying.  There is an obvious line that has to be crossed when discussing sex with different age groups.

Class discussions are far more informal than PowerPoint presentations.  PowerPoints are informative and present the facts.  Class discussions show the variety of opinions on certain facts.

Does sex education start at home? Part II

My parents did not really have the sex talk with me. All I ever heard was "Don't have sex, you'll get pregnant." It was more of a scare tactic. My mom was a teen mom and she used herself as an example and guaranteed my sister and I that we would get pregnant too if we had sex. That was a horrible way to talk to your kids about sex.

If I ever decide to have children I would use a completely different method. My mom's way didn't teach me anything and now at almost 20 years old, I can't discuss simple things like a kiss or birth control with my mom. She'd lose her marbles. As a result of her method, I'm not as open with her as sex as I would like to be so I would take a different route. When the time comes to teach my children about sex I will teach them what is relevant at the time. As our generations change, I can't really say what I could tell them but it would definitely be information that will be important to their lives.

Does sex education start at home? Part I

The sex talk should start as soon as the baby comes out of the womb. I talk to my 5-month-old nephew about sex. Granted, he doesn't understand it quite yet, it makes me comfortable with the idea of talking to him about it later in life. I think my generation will have a variety of ways they approach the sex talk with the next generation. My age group is in an awkward phase right now. So many people talk openly about sex and a lot don't, and that will carry on to adulthood. I think the next generation will be miseducated about sex because in the Human Sexuality class of 50 people, there are so many different views about sex and how it should be talked about and how soon it should be talked about.  I am not sure that sex education will evolve very much from where it is now; all the information kids need about sex is in the media. If anything, there will be a class or TV show introduced about STIs. Eventually my or the next generation will be so consumed by STIs that it will be an issue that will have to be addressed if sex education is continuously ignored. 

Generation X

The nineties seemed to have been a confusing time period for American society.  The “Ugly Eighties” had just come to an end, and the world was all about peace and love in the seventies and in decades before, baby boomers came about. By the time the nineties had come around, society was confused.  Due to the free-willed nature of society in the previous decades, sex was a taboo subject. 

In the nineties, MTV produced a series called “Sex in the 90s.”  There was a particular episode aired entitled “The Greatest Sex of All.”  The episode focused on abstinence and explaining its importance.  An article found on The Huffington Post website focuses on Christine O’Donnell, a tea partier from Delaware, who made an appearance on the show.  O’Donnell made quite an impact during her appearance, saying that “masturbation is not a moral substitute for sex…you cannot masturbate without lust,” and also quoted The Bible.  She was highly criticized for the episode, partially due to the fact that she later opted to hold a political position in Delaware, and partially due to her statements about sex.  Most people that talked about sex publically during the time were publicized, regardless their position on the subject.  The entire series was considered a bad idea on MTV’s part, according to the article’s spectators.  It seemed to encourage having sex, as if it were the “in” thing to do in the nineties.

Not all people shied away from the topic of sex, however.  An article published in the Marie Claire magazine took an opposite approach.  They made sure to turn heads with the title of the article, “Sex of Generation X, Sex in the 90s.”  The article discussed the people that were more free willed during the era.  Some women were feminists and believed they should keep their clothes on at all times a never speak a word about sex.  The article d talked about the women that were early versions of the women from “Sex and the City.”  Some women were not afraid to express themselves sexually and were prepared to embrace any remarks that may have been made about their characters.

The nineties was a time period that seemed to not have a “happy medium.”  All people were either for or against having sex.  This may be due to the amount of attention people paid to sex previously.  Speaking from a personal standpoint, it may be because my generation’s parents were adolescents in the late seventies and eighties and were not ready to expose us to sex and all things associated with it.  Nonetheless, feelings about sex change with every decade and that is especially evident now.

I got interested in sex education when...

16 & Pregnant became "the" reality show to watch on MTV.  It occurred to me that teen pregnancy was on the rise, so popular that there was an entire television series dedicated to it.  I thought it was strange that a national channel was glamorizing the lifestyle of a teenage mother.  A lot more pregnancies began to occur in my high school after the series began to air.  The rising number of pregnancies made me wonder why teens, both males and females, did not take the necessary precautions to avoid pregnancy.  In the beginning, I was baffled.  Then I realized that I had not attended a sex education class since I was in the sixth grade.  The situation was the same for most of the people in my high school and in my age group.  A lot of people don't like to talk about sex, so they don't.  I think it is time to be realistic about sex and teach it.  Teens are going to have sex whether they are educated about it or not.

The Best Sex Ed

Sadly, this is how many people view sex education.  There is so much more to the story. Hope you enjoy!

Abstinence only or sex education?

Given the choice, I would choose sex education over abstinence.  Teenagers and pre-teens are engaging in sex already.  There are some kids in grade school that are having or attempting to have sex.  I think abstinence was a good approach when my generation was in elementary school (I'm 19, so back in the 90s and early, early 2000s).  I can honestly say many of my classmates did not know very much about sex.  Now it is everywhere.

Sex education is beneficial because it usually incorporates abstinence and prevention in addition to explaining the risks that are involved in having sex.  If a child or teen is not told what sex is, they will probably explore on their own out of curiosity and find themselves in a horrible situation.  If sex education is taught, they will know how to be curious safely.  In addition, it costs the government less money! There is no point in spending money on abstinence-only courses when teens are obviously having sex.  Shows like "16 & Pregnant" and movies like "The Pregnancy Pact" are based on society, not a writer's imagination.

I think sex education does have its downsides.  It has the potential to take away from parents having their own version of the sex talk with their child.  Some kids learn better from their parents.  Another con involved in sex education is that if a teen was not curious before, they will almost definitely be curious after taking a sex class.  Nonetheless, exposure to sex is inevitable.  It should be taught instead of hidden.   

A little info, just because

This is a blog about sex education.  It can be a pretty controversial subject.  I think it would be best for people to know my standpoint on sex and it's value.

A sexual value in my opinion deals with emotional attachment. My parents were high school sweethearts and have been married for the past 21 years. When I was younger, the "sex talk" did not consist of much more than my mom saying "If you have sex you'll get pregnant." Nonetheless, from the longevity of my parents' relationship I gained the understanding that you have to love or at least like the person you choose to be intimate with. Being emotionally drawn to a person is a personal value to me because I learned what I lived.

I wanted to explain this briefly to set the tone of the blog.  I am for sex education for the very reason stated about.  I have what I like to call the "Happily Ever After Complex," meaning that I used to think all couples are meant to be and when they have sex it is not a big deal because they'll be together forever.  That isn't always the case.  All couples can't be like my parents.  Younger generations are having sex at earlier ages, like when I still thought boys had cooties (and they still do, we just don't call them cooties anymore, they're STIs).  Naturally, kids and teenagers are curious.  Let's educate them.

Hi!

This is my first blog post ever, so please bear with me.  For a few months, I'll be discussing various elements of sex education.  Hope you enjoy! :)